2016-10-04 08:32![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
starscreamthefirst
starscreamthefirstThere’s always been something familiarly unsettling about this planet we here as humans call home, something that eerily calls back to my past in a hauntingly unmistakable manner. The air, the landscape, the organic-ness of it all, is the only one tantamount to everything I never wanted anything to do with. The actuality of it all being connected more so to times wasted, and lost moments erased to nothing.
From my first time to this planet, to the plagued out existence I faced millions of years after, nothing as much as a good memory honestly comes to mind from those times. It only brings back the thought of my first exploration to it, one I wish had been my last and only visit to the planet. Yet fate had handed me back to it on a silver platter on multiple occasions since.
In my days as of now, its hard not be brought back to memories of my past here. From a mere change in the weather to the overall atmosphere of a location, it is in these simplicities often overlooked I’m caught remembering what I’ve felt before. Time and time again this occurs; an overwhelming nostalgia that anyone else would not be able to get a grasp to understand. The complexity of it is not always easy for myself to explain even.
It all derives from that time, the year 1984 in Earth terms, when I was secondly omitted to being present here. How ever fate had planned it, be that the cause, I ended up here along with the foremost of decepticon forces at that time. It had been while in pursuit of the autobot ship, the Ark, our convoy through space tailing them to this planet where we crashed. Our war had been going on for quite some time at this point, approximately 4 million years of what I would call a glorified deadlock.
This was just another planet like the rest, it would be all the same in perspective to the entirety of just how looped the war had come to pass as; if it were not Earth anyways. Out of all the planets, this one, for whatever reason, never stuck well on me. It may just be because of how often I’ve managed to get dragged here, or how long we were all trapped there from then. Regardless, the feeling is still all the same.
The crash left us immobilized for a great deal of time, leaving us to spend a few millennium in stasis lock. I would not be surprised if this also atones for the disquieting vibe I get from this planet, however, I know the majority of it comes from after we were put back online. Its those times, that almost make me wish we didn’t come back online after that.
We did though, and we survived; no one else but I having a recollection on which planet we had gotten ourselves stranded on. Although I would not speak up on this, keeping my own little secret to myself as not to beckon more questioning from our leader, or shall I say my conjunx. Not many knew, or they pretended not to, but there was more behind why exactly I was chosen as second in command. And that is all I will say for now on that matter.
After I and the seekers had laid out on reconnaissance, it had not taken us long to establish a base of operation, however mediocre it seemed. I noticed during this that life had progressed since my last visit, observing that these flesh creatures had begun developing civilization, humans I mean. They wouldn’t be much a problem though, seeing as they were in a state of practical infancy with their technology. Of course, we weren’t counting on the autobots to form a pact with them.
So much time was spent here on this planet, so much going back and forth between battles won and battles lost. Its tiring to even think about, that I can almost feel the aches springing back up into my struts. I’ll find myself often experience these memories here like this, as if traversing through a time capsule. Maybe its because I wish things ended differently from that point, maybe its because I know they could have.
I recall one battle in particular, a sure victory had we not been betrayed by one of our own. It was not only that though, but a personal betrayal from one of my own wingmates to add insult to injury. Alas, no one was more upset about it than Skywarp, and he was not short upon showing it. I never did see Thundercracker again after that, and I’m glad I didn’t. Loosing a wingmate would normally be seen as more tragic, but given the circumstance it wasn’t a great loss. Had I been the one to confront him, I would have been more precise with offlining him in the reality of it.
What I can’t fathom is why he did it, how he could so easily choose human lives over our cause, over our people. We had them. The humans were going to nuke their own city, the autobots with it along with their own citizens.. yet Thundercracker stood in to stop it. He chose the humans; the humans who were satisfied to destroy their own city with its people in order to win. How despicably ironic it was, just as what Iacon had allowed done to Vos. He should have known better; he should have seen the similarity. This continues to frustrate me to this day each time I’m reminded, because not only what he did, but because I know right then and there we would have won had he not defected.
Its memories like these that give me that feeling, that haunt me with these poignant vibes of this accursed planet. There’s so many more memories like this one, so many other times we were left utterly disappointed. What’s worse is knowing that I don’t believe I’ve even accounted for all of them, the fact being there could be hundreds more dormant memories that I have not yet accessed. Nevertheless, I attain my poise all the while, keeping in mind that it’s all over and done with.
End Log 1.
-Starscream
From my first time to this planet, to the plagued out existence I faced millions of years after, nothing as much as a good memory honestly comes to mind from those times. It only brings back the thought of my first exploration to it, one I wish had been my last and only visit to the planet. Yet fate had handed me back to it on a silver platter on multiple occasions since.
In my days as of now, its hard not be brought back to memories of my past here. From a mere change in the weather to the overall atmosphere of a location, it is in these simplicities often overlooked I’m caught remembering what I’ve felt before. Time and time again this occurs; an overwhelming nostalgia that anyone else would not be able to get a grasp to understand. The complexity of it is not always easy for myself to explain even.
It all derives from that time, the year 1984 in Earth terms, when I was secondly omitted to being present here. How ever fate had planned it, be that the cause, I ended up here along with the foremost of decepticon forces at that time. It had been while in pursuit of the autobot ship, the Ark, our convoy through space tailing them to this planet where we crashed. Our war had been going on for quite some time at this point, approximately 4 million years of what I would call a glorified deadlock.
This was just another planet like the rest, it would be all the same in perspective to the entirety of just how looped the war had come to pass as; if it were not Earth anyways. Out of all the planets, this one, for whatever reason, never stuck well on me. It may just be because of how often I’ve managed to get dragged here, or how long we were all trapped there from then. Regardless, the feeling is still all the same.
The crash left us immobilized for a great deal of time, leaving us to spend a few millennium in stasis lock. I would not be surprised if this also atones for the disquieting vibe I get from this planet, however, I know the majority of it comes from after we were put back online. Its those times, that almost make me wish we didn’t come back online after that.
We did though, and we survived; no one else but I having a recollection on which planet we had gotten ourselves stranded on. Although I would not speak up on this, keeping my own little secret to myself as not to beckon more questioning from our leader, or shall I say my conjunx. Not many knew, or they pretended not to, but there was more behind why exactly I was chosen as second in command. And that is all I will say for now on that matter.
After I and the seekers had laid out on reconnaissance, it had not taken us long to establish a base of operation, however mediocre it seemed. I noticed during this that life had progressed since my last visit, observing that these flesh creatures had begun developing civilization, humans I mean. They wouldn’t be much a problem though, seeing as they were in a state of practical infancy with their technology. Of course, we weren’t counting on the autobots to form a pact with them.
So much time was spent here on this planet, so much going back and forth between battles won and battles lost. Its tiring to even think about, that I can almost feel the aches springing back up into my struts. I’ll find myself often experience these memories here like this, as if traversing through a time capsule. Maybe its because I wish things ended differently from that point, maybe its because I know they could have.
I recall one battle in particular, a sure victory had we not been betrayed by one of our own. It was not only that though, but a personal betrayal from one of my own wingmates to add insult to injury. Alas, no one was more upset about it than Skywarp, and he was not short upon showing it. I never did see Thundercracker again after that, and I’m glad I didn’t. Loosing a wingmate would normally be seen as more tragic, but given the circumstance it wasn’t a great loss. Had I been the one to confront him, I would have been more precise with offlining him in the reality of it.
What I can’t fathom is why he did it, how he could so easily choose human lives over our cause, over our people. We had them. The humans were going to nuke their own city, the autobots with it along with their own citizens.. yet Thundercracker stood in to stop it. He chose the humans; the humans who were satisfied to destroy their own city with its people in order to win. How despicably ironic it was, just as what Iacon had allowed done to Vos. He should have known better; he should have seen the similarity. This continues to frustrate me to this day each time I’m reminded, because not only what he did, but because I know right then and there we would have won had he not defected.
Its memories like these that give me that feeling, that haunt me with these poignant vibes of this accursed planet. There’s so many more memories like this one, so many other times we were left utterly disappointed. What’s worse is knowing that I don’t believe I’ve even accounted for all of them, the fact being there could be hundreds more dormant memories that I have not yet accessed. Nevertheless, I attain my poise all the while, keeping in mind that it’s all over and done with.
End Log 1.
-Starscream
